Cyborgs And Cannibal Kids

Mitt's OK with me, still in the narrowing run for my sole, single vote (and for my powerful influence! heh), so I did my usual effete media cringe when I read this from Bloomberg columnist Margaret Carlson:

Cyborg Mitt Romney compensates by surrounding himself with lifelike family members whenever possible. He misted up last Sunday in the tear-free zone of NBC TV's ``Meet the Press,'' when talking about the Mormon Church's decision to finally accept blacks into the priesthood in 1978.

To show that even androids can loosen up, Romney allowed the press to join him aboard his chartered jet on Tuesday. When he came to make nice in the back of the plane, he answered a question about the strangest thing to happen to him on the campaign trail with the revelation that a woman standing next to him in a photo-op ``grabbed his rear end.''

Those [candidates] without an All-American Romney family, with all that thick hair and straight teeth and no behavior issues, have to resort to Madison Avenue to suggest normality.

There is in this passage that irritating Inside the Beltway, Upper East Side snide view of what most of us view as normalcy. Yes, Mitt's hair and smile are a little too perfect, but would we notice that fact if the trendy, flighty, well manicured intelligentsia weren't always harping on it, their hair out of place, their teeth trendily stained by espresso and tobacco?

Before I let myself get too riled up, I realized there was a bit of humor in Carlson's work -- not nice humor mind you, but humor nonetheless, so I read on and the gal's all right with me again, since her column also had this:

As [Hillary Clinton] set out to "round out who I am as a person,'' she called on her husband and Magic Johnson.

Bill Clinton praised his wife's new sleep regime, noting that she's more of a night owl than he, yet with more energy. In general, he wants voters to know that she's the very, very best person in the whole, wide world.

Since everything's poll-tested, there must be an appetite for this intrafamily endorsement, even at the risk of making your relationship look more like a merger of ambitions than a marriage.

Clinton has also pulled her mother and daughter out on the stump, ignoring the valid reasons why loved ones don't serve as character witnesses or job references. It's not credible; it's cloying and a very low bar to clear. Whose mother doesn't think they're wonderful? Jeffrey Dahmer's?

Cyborg or daughter only a mother could love? Gee, our choices are so hard ...

Cyborg by Rooter; hat-tip RCP