Cheat-Seeking Missles

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Gross Over-Consumers Go Green

You'll want to rush right out and buy the new Vanity Fair -- it's the high society rag's paean to the enviro-chic.

"Between the ads for diamond watches and designer bags," heralds the blurb in the UK Independent, "in one of America's glossiest magazines, A-listers have gone green" -- as you can see from the oh-so-earthy photo. Nevermind that the diamonds come from enviro-unfriendly African diamond minds and the bags are made from the skins of earth-crunching cattle.
Inside a leaf-coloured cover, an alpha list of names from Julia Roberts to Robert Kennedy Jnr, and George Clooney to Bette Midler are sending a message to their President and all those still in eco-denial. "Time to get real, " the magazine tells its 1 million buyers. "Global warming is the problem ­ the biggest problem. It's not a matter of when any longer. It's here. Green is the future ­ the only future."
Astonishing punctuation; imbicilic concept. Julia, Bobby, George and Bette burn more hydrocarbons in a year than a pod of Hummer-drivers. Their priate jets suck down tanks of aviation fuel, their massive homes hum with electrons streaming in from power plants, and their closets swell with racks of the richest wools, all chemically dyed, sweat-shop sewn and made from the fleeces of the finest plant-chomping, water-polluting sheep.
“If you’re doing a movie about oil consumption and corruption, you can’t just talk the talk,” Clooney—who drove his fully-electric, zero-emission, two-seater Tango to the cover shoot—told [Annie] Leibovitz and her crew. “You gotta walk the walk.”
Yup, walk it right up to the steps of your Gulfstream, you hypocrite.

It has always been so. The wretchedly excessive consumers lull their guilt by telling us to consume less.

For them, green, a nice greenback tint of green, is the future the only future.

With or without them or us woeful plebians, global warming will disappear or build or exist or not exist. To think we punk humans could actually affect age-old global weather cycles requires quite an ego ... an A-list ego.

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