Snark Attack

OK, we get it. New Yorkers think themselves cool, sophisticated, urbane and better (so what if we think them rude and narcissistic?), and they think anyone else, particularly anyone who's rural or Southern (or worse yet, who's forsaken the East Coast for someplace rural and Southern) is a hopeless yahoo.

And if someone who's forsaken the East Coast for someplace rural and Southern comes back to the East Coast as ruler of the free world ... well, let's just say we understand the roots of Bush Hatred, even if New Yorkers are too cool, sophisticated, urbane and better to admit that they suffer from it. Oh, but suffer from it they certainly do, as evidenced by this lead in the NYT:

WASHINGTON, May 4 — How does George W. Bush, a towel-snapping Texan who puts his feet on the coffee table, drinks water straight from the bottle and was once caught on tape talking with food in his mouth prepare for a state dinner with the queen?

I don't think I've actually been caught on tape talking with food in my mouth, but I've sure been found guilty of everything else on the list. I didn't even know I was supposed to carry some Waterford with me to pour my Desani into before drinking it.

A little fact-finding might help the NYT. As they've apparently forgotten, Bush was raised in a well-to-do family with a father and mother who certainly knew how to relax down home and be sufficiently polite to survive as U.N. Ambassador.

Our current Prez was born in New Haven for crying out loud; can't get much more East Coast than that. He went to Phillips Academy in Andover MA, then to Yale, and finally to Hahvahd for his MBA. Presumably, somewhere along the way he learned which fork to use when, how to dab with a napkin instead of swipe with the back of his sleeve, and to not put his feet up on a coffee table when the Queen of England is in the room.

But this all goes right over the up-tilted nose of the NYT,. My God, two reporters were actually assigned to this story, to ensure their ability to create from thin air a story to criticize the prez -- even if, in the process, they gave us yahoos ample chances to laugh at the silly self-aggrandizing snootiness of the NYT, the elite media and the Manhattan intelligentsia. Here are a couple more gems from the story:

Mr. Bush’s moniker for his father, 41, is well known, and he will surely need no etiquette guide to warn him away from referring to the queen as II. ...

Cute. And here I always thought it would be fun to refer to the Queen as Betty Windsor.

The president made no social miscues at those events, but last year he was spotted eating a dinner roll while talking to Prime Minister Tony Blair of Britain. At that meeting of world leaders, Mr. Bush also gave Chancellor Angela Merkel of Germany an impromptu shoulder rub.

At least he didn't stain up Ms. Merkel's blue dress ... or for that matter, puke into the lap of the prime minister.

And just for fun, ask Blair or Merkel who they'd rather dine with, W or some snot-head from the NYT.