Cheat-Seeking Missles

Friday, October 06, 2006

Big Global Warming Scare -- On Mars, Pluto

Global warming will end life on earth as we know it!

Get out of your SUVs and stop ruining my planet!

OK, I've got it, Mr. Gore. But how do you green-spin this information from the California Institute of Technology and the Massachusetts Institute of Technology?

On Mars, NASA and the California Institute of Technology's Jet Propulsion Laboratory report a prolonged period of surface warming, and the Martian icecap is steadily receding. According to scientists, "the fact that it is changing suggests that Mars may have major, global climate changes that are occurring on the same time scales as Earth's most recent climate shifts, including the last Ice Age." (emphasis added)

Pluto is undergoing a similar period of global warming, scientists report. According to a Massachusetts Institute of Technology release, "Pluto is undergoing global warming, as evidenced by a three-fold increase in the planet's atmospheric pressure during the past 14 years, a team of astronomers from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT), Williams College, the University of Hawaii, Lowell Observatory and Cornell University announced."

If the debate over global warming is over, as we've been told, what do the Warmies say to refute this evidence that global warming is a cyclical planetary process that humans don't have much to do with? If Global Warming has human causality, where are the Martian SUVs? What exactly are greedy capitalists manufacturing on Pluto that's gunking up the atmosphere with greenhouse gases?

Oh, the Warmies will have their explanations; they always do. They must defend their position because environmentalism is the last, best hope for socialism and big government in this country. Just look at Schwarzenegger, reputedly a Republican, placing massive government controls on private industry in the name of halting the relentless global warming process on Mars ... oh, sorry, Pluto ... oops, I mean Earth.

hat-tip: Center for Individual Freedom via Town Hall
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