Cheat-Seeking Missles

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

The Craftiest Showboat In Politics

I've struggled for some time to find a moniker fitting for Bill Lockyer, our great state's attorney general. Thanks to Bloomberg's Andrew Ferguson, I've got it, and it's up there in the headline.

Here's the lead of Ferguson's piece, Lawyers Protect California from Killer Fries:

For political zoologists, state attorneys general have long been one of the most fascinating species: third-tier politicians whose frustrations with their lowly position, combined with the corner-cutting ambition typical of modern litigators, force them to extremes of moral grandstanding that might shame an ordinary public servant.

This is certainly true of Bill Lockyer, California's attorney general and perhaps the craftiest showboat in U.S. politics. His latest bid to grab headlines -- and, not coincidentally, reward his friends and hurt his enemies -- has startled even some of his political allies. He wants to label French fries.

Lockyer siezed on a tiny bit of science -- that a carcinogenic chemical called acrylamide is formed when starchy foods are fried -- and ignored a more significant bit of science -- that the amounts of acrylamide in fries is laughably, insanely, irrelevantly miniscule -- and sued McDonalds, Burger King, Frito Lay and others.

I think we should just lay a massive label over our beloved Golden State:

Caution, contains chemicals known
to cause insanity in elected officials.