Sharks Blame Big Oil For Katrina

Two lawsuits have been filed blaming oil companies -- not nature or Louisiana incompetence -- for the damage caused by Katrina.

Wetlands lawsuit: Two NOLA shark tanks ... er, scammy litigation mills ... er, law firms have initiated a class action lawsuit blaming big oil companies for Katrina's damage to the city.

According to a news release these opportunistic greedmeisters placed on PR Newswire, the lawsuit blames oil companies for the destruction of over one million acres of marshland that they say would have protected NOLA from Katrina. Canals allegedly dug by the oil companies allegedly caused the alleged destruction, according to the alleged lawyers.

Now all they need is a couple of scientific studies by paid profs, and ginned up testimony from a couple of paid experts, and a couple plaintiffs, and they're in the money!

Global warming lawsuit: Meanwhile the Bulletin News Network reports an even more far-fetched and silly lawsuit:

A new lawsuit filed in the wake of Hurricane Katrina attempts to force energy companies to pay damages in the wake of Katrina,citing global warming as a proximate cause of the storm. In Cox vs.

Nationwide et al, a class-action suit filed in Mississippi, the plaintiffs charge, "The environmental conditions present in the Gulf of Mexico which fostered the strengthening of Hurricane Katrina are the direct result of a condition sometimes described as 'Global Warming' which has been manifested by a marked increase in global air and water temperatures, melting of the polar ice caps, and significant increases in the frequency and intensity of storms known as hurricanes."

The suit also charges, "The Oil Company Defendant Class has engaged in activities that have produced the greatest single source of by-products leading to the development and increase of global warming. Despite warning from scientists and other knowledgeable advocates about the adverse effects of their activities on the environment in general and global warming in particular, the members of the Oil Company Defendant Class have continued to engage in or increase the activities that have increased Global Warming. Further, the Oil Company Defendant Class has taken no action to counteract the adverse impact of their activities on the environment.

Shouldn't they have also named everyone who drives a car, takes a bus, heats or air conditions their home, or buys manufactured items? These people created the demand for oil, after all.

Oh, that's us. Yeah, sue the oil companies instead. All they have to do is prove to 12 scientifically illiterate jury members that global warming exists. That shouldn't be hard; they can get some glittery Hollywood celebs to testify that it's true, then they can scurry back to the office and file another class action suit against McDonalds for getting people fat.

The oil companies will defend themselves against these suits, and ultimately win or settle. They won't lose. But we will. Their cost of defending this silliness will be added on to our costs at the pump.