Cheat-Seeking Missles

Thursday, November 18, 2004

How Would MSM Report D-Day?

This was emailed to me. I have no idea who authored it, and I couldn't help myself; I'm a compulsive editor so I've nipped and tucked it a bit.

June 6, 1944. -- NORMANDY

Many French civilians were killed and wounded today in the first hours of America's invasion of continental Europe. Casualties were heaviest among women and children.

Reports from a makeshift hospital in the French town of St. Mere Elise said the carnage was far worse than initial U.S. military sources had reported, and reaction against the American invasion was running high.

"We are dying for no reason," said a Frenchman speaking on condition of anonymity. "I never thought I'd say this, but life was better under Adolph Hitler."

As the invasion slowed to a quagmire, severe environmental damage has occurred. American troops, tanks, trucks and machinery destroyed miles of pristine shoreline and thousands of acres of ecologically sensitive wetlands. It was believed that the habitat of the spineless French crab was wiped out, threatening the species with extinction.

Greenpeace representative Christine Moanmore said, "This is another example of how the military and its corporate partners destroy the environment without a second thought. They ignored the entire regulatory process and have no permits for the desecration they are causing."

Contacted at his Manhattan condo, a member of the French government-in-exile who bravely abandoned Paris when Hitler invaded said the invasion was based solely on American financial interests. "Everyone knows the President Roosevelt has ties to big beer," said Pierre LeWimp. "Once the German beer industry is conquered, Roosevelt's cronies will control the world market and make a fortune."

An administration spokesperson stated that America's aggressive actions are needed because of unsubstantiated assertions that the Germans are developing a secret weapon, a so-called "atomic bomb." Such a weapon could produce casualties on a scale never seen before, the spokesperson stated.

However, leaked OSS documents call into question the content and timing of the intelligence reports on the weapon. Hitler has denied having such a weapon and international inspectors were unable to locate such weapons even after spending two long weekends in Germany.

Shortly after the invasion began American news services reported that German prisoners had been abused by Americans, and newsreel footage of an American soldier shooting an injured German soldier was released. Mistreatment of Jews by Germans at so-called "concentration camps" has been rumored but so far, remains unproven.