Dems Find A Moral Candidate for 2008!
In 2008, still trying to understand the "morals vote" that was powerful enough to give Bush the victory margin, the Dems are likely to look for a candidate who can hold up Dem ideals and still attract votes from people who haven't swallowed the "anything goes" pill. After all, faced with a war more popular than un-, they went with a decorated vet who upheld the party's aversion to war.
So, what will the Dem's 2008 candidate sound like?
For starters, the candidate will stand before the DNC, point upward, and say, "With God by my side, I'm reporting for duty!"
Then the candidate will boldly address abortion. Of course, he is personally adverse to it and greatly admires the niece of the Republican vice presidential candidate, who got knocked up at 17 and kept the kid. Or, perhaps, he believes God's love is so big it covers the fetus, the mother and the abortionist alike, so who can find fault?
Next, gay marriage. He says that while he believes homosexuality is wrong, he supports gay unions because God is loving. Or that while he loves his homosexual brothers and sisters, he doesn't support gay marriage because of his longstanding, deeply held beliefs. But out of Christian compassion, he won't impose his will on others that God, in his infinite wisdom, created.
Now he's on a roll. Death penalty? Love they neighbor, an eye for an eye, God gave his only begotten son, and there but for the grace of God go I.
Prayer in school? The Bible says we should pray constantly, but of course if we did that, how would we learn math? So let's render unto the principal that which is the principal's and render unto God that which is God's.
Separation of church and state? The Boy Scouts? Funding faith-based groups? Oh, Bless me! That's nothing we can't achieve a loving understanding on, with God's help!
The balloons fall (hopefully) and the confetti flutters. Beaming, the candidate hits the campaign trail, facing the media, the bloggers and the people, the moral, the immoral and the amoral. Things go well until a 527 runs an ad featuring the candidate's old Church Youth Group members ... you know the rest.
So, what will the Dem's 2008 candidate sound like?
For starters, the candidate will stand before the DNC, point upward, and say, "With God by my side, I'm reporting for duty!"
Then the candidate will boldly address abortion. Of course, he is personally adverse to it and greatly admires the niece of the Republican vice presidential candidate, who got knocked up at 17 and kept the kid. Or, perhaps, he believes God's love is so big it covers the fetus, the mother and the abortionist alike, so who can find fault?
Next, gay marriage. He says that while he believes homosexuality is wrong, he supports gay unions because God is loving. Or that while he loves his homosexual brothers and sisters, he doesn't support gay marriage because of his longstanding, deeply held beliefs. But out of Christian compassion, he won't impose his will on others that God, in his infinite wisdom, created.
Now he's on a roll. Death penalty? Love they neighbor, an eye for an eye, God gave his only begotten son, and there but for the grace of God go I.
Prayer in school? The Bible says we should pray constantly, but of course if we did that, how would we learn math? So let's render unto the principal that which is the principal's and render unto God that which is God's.
Separation of church and state? The Boy Scouts? Funding faith-based groups? Oh, Bless me! That's nothing we can't achieve a loving understanding on, with God's help!
The balloons fall (hopefully) and the confetti flutters. Beaming, the candidate hits the campaign trail, facing the media, the bloggers and the people, the moral, the immoral and the amoral. Things go well until a 527 runs an ad featuring the candidate's old Church Youth Group members ... you know the rest.
posted by Laer at 10:56 PM
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