"Eh?" Don't Give Me No Stinkin' "Eh!"

Fed up with those Molson-chuggers? Had enough hockey? Ready to fight if you hear "eh?" one more time?

Then let's implement War Plan Red, created in the 1930s, declassified in the 1970s and dredged up again in today's WaPo: Seize Halifax, pour over the New Hampshire border, capture the hydroelectric plants at Niagra. Piece of cake.

But lest we think dominion of the great North would be easy, we'd best keep Canada's own Defense Scheme #1, created by the near-mythical Canadian Buster Brown (i.e., no one's heard of him down here) in 1921. And let's not forget the multiple failed American raids on the Great White: during the War of Independence, the War of 1812 and local skirmishes in 1839 and 1866.

If the epoch battle ever comes to pass, Alan Alda has already provided our battle cry in the film Canadian Bacon: "Surrender pronto or we'll level Toronto."

This five-clicker article, "Raiding the Icebox," by Peter Carlson has a strong measure of anti-Iraq war sarcasm in it, but it's a fun and informative read; highly recommended.

h/t memeorandum