Bush's New U.N. Ambassador
Washington DC (June 6, 2005) -- President George Bush announced today that he is withdrawing from Senate consideration his controversial appointment of John Bolton as U.N. ambassador.
"Mr. Bolton's career has been exemplary, and I believed, and still believe, that his forceful and at times dramatic commitment to our country and its policies would serve us well in that smarmy pit of vipers on the Hudson," Bush said in a Rose Garden event. "I am withdrawing his name not because of questions raised by the Senatorette from California, but because I have found a better candidate."
Mr. Bush then announced that Australian actor Russell Crowe has accepted the position and his nomination will be submitted to the Senate within the week.
"When dealing with churlish and unrepentant underlings, Mr. Bolton slammed down phones. Mr. Crowe, when placed in such situations, throws the entire phone, often succeeding in full-face frontal impact. This is the sort of strength we look for in a U.N. ambassador," Mr. Bush stated.
Addressing the White House press corps for the first time, Mr. Crowe said, "It is an honor for a workingman Aussie like me to get a part like this. I look foreward to the next time the Sudanese ambassador pipes up about human rights, or the Chinese ambassador says something about treatment of prisoners. Pow!"
Response from the Democratic party leadership was muted, as they rushed to find a position balancing their bitter distaste for Mr. Bush and their unwavering pandering to Hollywood.
"Mr. Bolton's career has been exemplary, and I believed, and still believe, that his forceful and at times dramatic commitment to our country and its policies would serve us well in that smarmy pit of vipers on the Hudson," Bush said in a Rose Garden event. "I am withdrawing his name not because of questions raised by the Senatorette from California, but because I have found a better candidate."
Mr. Bush then announced that Australian actor Russell Crowe has accepted the position and his nomination will be submitted to the Senate within the week.
"When dealing with churlish and unrepentant underlings, Mr. Bolton slammed down phones. Mr. Crowe, when placed in such situations, throws the entire phone, often succeeding in full-face frontal impact. This is the sort of strength we look for in a U.N. ambassador," Mr. Bush stated.
Addressing the White House press corps for the first time, Mr. Crowe said, "It is an honor for a workingman Aussie like me to get a part like this. I look foreward to the next time the Sudanese ambassador pipes up about human rights, or the Chinese ambassador says something about treatment of prisoners. Pow!"
Response from the Democratic party leadership was muted, as they rushed to find a position balancing their bitter distaste for Mr. Bush and their unwavering pandering to Hollywood.
posted by Laer at 1:33 PM
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