Lost, Mostly Lost, Lost, Lost ...

I stumbled on France's Military History at Tempus Fugit while researching allegations of attrocities by French troops in Ivory Coast. Click it; you'll like it. Here's how it starts:

• Gallic Wars - Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.
• Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare: “France’s armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman.”