Cheat-Seeking Missles

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Hillary Hints

Concession? Forget about it. The text of Hillary Clinton's speech last night was anything but a concession speech. Just look:

What she said:
Even when the pundits and the naysayers proclaimed week after week that this race was over, you kept on voting. You're the nurse on the second shift, the worker on the line, the waitress on her feet, the small business owner, the farmer, the teacher, the miner, the trucker, the soldier, the veteran, the student, the hardworking men and women who don't always make the headlines, but have always written America's story.
What she meant: I can get the white vote. Remember, whites are "hardworking" in Hillary-lingo.

What she said:
You have voted because you wanted to take back the White House. And because of you we won, together, the swing states necessary to get to 270 electoral votes.
What she meant: Obviously, Obama's a loser.

What she said:
And I am committed to uniting our party so we move forward stronger and more ready than ever to take back the White House this November.
What she meant: Give me something good, Obama.

What she said:
None of you, none of you is invisible to me. You never have been.
What she meant: Unlike the half-delegates of Michigan and Florida, who she will continue to cry over, even though she was instrumental in creating their half-invisibility.

What she said:
What does Hillary want? What does she want?
What she meant: I want to be president! I don't want Obama to be! Go on to my web site, give me more money, sign my petition, help me deny reality.

What she said:
I want to turn this economy around. I want health care for every American. I want every child to live up to his or her God-given potential. And I want the nearly 18 million Americans who voted for me to be respected, to be heard and no longer to be invisible.
What she meant: Spend, spend, spend. It is government's responsibility, not the individual's, to ensure individual success. And I'm going to keep harping about Michigan and Florida, even though I was a big part of the problem.

What she said:
I've been working on this issue not just for the past 16 months, but for 16 years.
What she meant: You nominated a know-nothing punk, you idiots!

What she said:
So many people said this race was over five months ago in Iowa, but we had faith in each other. And you brought me back in New Hampshire, and on Super Tuesday, and in Ohio, and in Pennsylvania, and Texas, and Indiana, West Virginia, Kentucky, Puerto Rico, and South Dakota.
What she meant: YAAAAAAGH! Translation: I guess we lost it back in Iowa.

What she said:
So, to the 18 million people who voted for me, and to our many other supporters out there of all ages, I want to hear from you. I hope you'll go to my Web site at and share your thoughts with me and help in any way that you can.

And in the coming days, I'll be consulting with supporters and party leaders to determine how to move forward with the best interests of our party and our country guiding my way.

What she meant: I'm prepared to count people who didn't vote for me as supporters. Anything it takes. I'm not satisfied with mere second place. I deserve more. I'm entitled to more, and one way or another, I'm going to get more.

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