Cheat-Seeking Missles

Friday, June 20, 2008

A Gift To New York's Trial Lawyers

Can you say "special interest?" Trial lawyers -- yeah, that particularly nasty special interest -- across New York state are visiting Maserati and Aston Martin dealerships and hunting for sexier gumars in anticipation of the windfall this little piece of legislation will bring them:
Each year, there are 200,000 new cases of cancer in New York State, and each one is reported to the State Health Department and meticulously recorded.

[U]nder legislation passed on Thursday, residents would be able to gain access to that information through the most detailed map yet available, and track all kinds of cancers and where they occur.

The online map would also plot where industrial facilities like power plants and chemical factories are located. (NYT)

Included among those "residents" will be the underpaid minions of trial lawyers, who will be scouring the maps, looking for anything remotely cluster-like in proximity (including downwind or downstream) from one of those power plants or factories. And lickety-split, each cluster will soon be sporting its very own class action lawsuit.

Who cares if chance, not science, mandates the cluster-creation? There's money to be made! Experts to bribe hire! Victims to save exploit!

If John Edwards doesn't get the gig he wants out of Obama's campaign, look for him to move to New York soon. Did you know his father worked in the mill?