More Questions On The Meaning Of Rape
What can I tell you about being raped? Very little. I remember drinking with some girlfriends and then heading to a party in the house that some seniors were throwing. I’m told that I walked in and within 5 minutes was making out with one of the guys who lived there, who I’d talked to some in the dining hall but never really hung out with. I may have initiated it. I don’t remember arriving at the party; I dimly remember waking up at some point in the early morning in this guy’s room. I remember him walking me back to my room. I couldn’t have made it alone; I still had too much alcohol in my system to even stand up straight. I made myself vulnerable and even now it’s hard to think that someone here who I have talked and laughed with could be cold-hearted enough to take advantage of that vulnerability. I’d rather, sometimes, take half the blame than believe that a profound evil can exist in mankind. But it’s easy for me to say, that, of the two of us, I’m the only one who still has nightmares, found myself panicking and detaching during sex for many months afterwards, and spent more time looking into the abyss than any one person should.She didn't even remember the party. She was making out with a guy she hardly knew. They slept together. Is it rape? Or as I said in my post on the same topic, The Rape of Rape on America's Campuses, was the guy guilty of no more than saying "OK" to her "Lesh do it?"
The inequalities of the consequences of the night, the actions taken unintentionally or not, have changed the course of only one of our lives, irrevocably and profoundly.
Before you answer, consider this email I got from a friend regarding the post:
Your past few blogs have been really excellent! I’ve OFTEN fumed about the feminist agenda when it comes to rape statistics. While at UCSB, the TAKE BACK THE NIGHT parade always had me miffed. They always quoted the 25% number. As the only “sober sister” at my sorority, I witnessed first hand the drinking, promiscuity and tears that followed over and over and over again.They shouldn't be. When a woman opens herself to a man and encourages him, the resulting act can be many things, but it can't be rape. But apparently some prosecutors don't get the difference. With a hat-tip to Bookworm, here's a case from England, told by The Daily Mail:
When I asked why the girls would get so hammered knowing that they would probably make a choices that night that they would later regret, they all, without fail, said that they were “in college and just wanted to have fun without stressing about it.” Sleazy, cheap, drunken sex never sounded that great to me. It also doesn’t sound like RAPE. If the boys are just as drunk as the girls, how are they expected to be more accountable?
The sex trial nightmare of a Cambridge graduate ended yesterday leaving a huge question mark over the decision to charge him.Indeed it is sad. Gillet, 23, was accused by a 22-year-old, whose charges included that she had begged Gillet many times to stop. Her anonymity is protected by the law despite the fact that the jury discounted her tale, and despite the fact that Gillet is anything but anonymous.
Jack Gillett was accused of assault by a fellow student after a drunken night of passion. He has spent nine months under a cloud of suspicion and facing the threat of up to ten years in jail.
But after a three-day trial this week, a jury took just two and a half hours to throw out the £50,000 case. Afterwards, Judge Gareth Hawkesworth questioned why it had ever been brought by the Crown Prosecution Service.
"It is a very sad thing that a case like this should come before the court involving two young people struggling to come to terms with the complexities of life and about to start on their careers," he said.
The girl's charges appear to be not unlike her Harvard sister's:
The jury had heard that Mr Gillett's accuser, the daughter of a well-known personality, had twice left the room on the night of the incident, but returned.That effectively neuters her claim that she told him to stop early on, but he kept going. He counter-claims that he did stop, but she came back for more -- twice, apparently.
As for her cries for help:
Two students in a nearby room testified that they had not heard her calling for help, even though their door and Mr Gillett's were left ajar throughout the alleged ordeal.This case has a fair amount of "she said/he said," but the circumstances obviously weighed in Gillett's favor -- especially testimony of one of the "victim's" friends:
A friend of the accuser said last night that she had not wanted Mr Gillett convicted, but just wanted to "give him a scare so he wouldn't do it again".This is the even more unseemly flip side of the promiscuousness that permeates our society. It's all about morals: There's really not much difference between a girl having no compunction about going to a man's room and having sex with the door open, and a girl not being able to think proportionately about any other of her actions. Subjecting a person to a lengthy, public court process to "give him a scare?"
"My son's reputation has suffered, while she remains anonymous," [Gillett's mother] said. "If she could have been named maybe she would have held back."Maybe if she had been taught logic, civics and morality, she would have held back as well.