Cheat-Seeking Missles

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Those Stealthy Iranians

Watch out! The global arms balance is about to change:
TEHRAN (Tehran Times) -- Air Force Commander Brigadier General Ahmad Miqani said here on Monday that Iran has launched the project to manufacture stealth aircrafts.

“We have finished the design of stealth aircraft which cannot to be detected even by advanced radar systems, and the primary stages of its manufacture have started,” Miqani told reporters in a news conference. ...

The commander said Iranian “Air Force is prepared to confront any military strike”, warning that “any act of aggression against the country’s borders will face a crushing response.”
Cheat-Seeking Missiles is nothing if not a global investigative powerhouse. Our tentacles reach even to the inner workings of the Iranian defense industry, where we found this transcript:
MIQANI: Have you got the stealth technology worked out, praise be to Allah?

HAQIQI: Yes, General, praise be to Allah!

MIQANI: How, praise be to Allah? Were we able to steal technology from America, praise be to Allah?

HAQIQI: No, General, praise be to Allah!

MIQANI: Did the French or the Chinese or the Russians come through, praise be to Allah?

HAQIQI: No, General, praise be to Allah! The Mullahs came through, praise be to Allah!

MIQANI: The Mullahs, praise be to Allah?

HAQIQI: Yes, General, praise be to Allah! The Mullahs have provided us with a copious supply of the talismans they gave the boy-soldiers of the Basij in '82, the same talismans that protected them when they were sent forth in human waves to clear the minefields on the Iraq border, praise be to Allah!

MIQANI: The talismans have stealth technology, praise be to Allah?

HAQIQI: Yes, General, praise be to Allah! The Mullahs assure us that all we have to do is give the pilots a talisman, and their jets will be invisible to the Great Satan's radar, praise be to Allah!

MIQANI: Praise be to Allah!

HAQIQI: Praise [unintelligible].
There you go. I'm forwarding this vital intelligence to the Joint Chiefs right now, so they can begin preparing for this major new military threat.

Hat-tip: Jim

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