Cheat-Seeking Missles

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Warmie Psychic: LA Becoming Guatamala-Like

Wooo Wooo Warmie, the global warming psychic, has a new mystical revelation: Greenies will fight zero pollution cars and LA will become a rain forest.

Wow, a double-revelation from Wooo Wooo, a first in C-SM history!

How does Wooo Wooo know such things will come to pass? His ways are mystical so I'll just offer up this guess: He happened upon Honda's Web site for its fuel cell car, the FCX, and his already mystical eyes got even more heebie-jeebie-ish when he read this:
Q. The FCX Clarity is a “dedicated platform hydrogen fuel cell vehicle.” What does that mean?

A. Honda has led the way in developing and improving fuel cell vehicle performance. The FCX Clarity was designed from the ground up to be a fuel cell vehicle that runs on electricity powered by hydrogen, and emits only water vapor and heat into the air.
Amazing technology, eh? It doesn't have to be plugged in or fueled up; it just runs on its little fuel cell, happily carrying our greener-than-thou selves around town as little droplets of water and whiffs of hot air come out its tailpipe.

What a lovely way for we pipsqueak humans to stop anthropogenic [thanks, J.] global warming in its tracks! It is all our fault, you know, and now we've got the Glorious Solution!

But wait a minute. Water vapor and heat!? Wooo Wooo and I both live in the LA Basin, a big ol' place of about 3.7 gazillion cars that is completely ringed by mountains that hold in the smog. Were we to convert our smog to water droplets and hot air, the humidity in the basin would soar from its usual low reading to New Orleans-like levels.

Streams would flow year-round, rain would fall on the mountains as if they were Hawaii's Pali, and our summertime stretches of days of 100 degree plus weather would now come with 90 percent humidity.

Oh. Joy.

Of course, the Greenies will find themselves torn between the perfect green technology and the fact that the FCX and cars of its ilk would make SoCal's climate more like Guatamala's, thereby destroying most of the drought-tolerant vegetation and killing the critters dependent on those plants.

So Wooo Wooo says you will see Greenies fighting against these cars, and Warmies fighting for them, while in the distance, Honest Abe reminds us that a house divided against itself cannot stand.

So there's trouble ahead for the enviros.

Note: J. Ewing sets Wooo Wooo straight in the third comment; be sure to read it.

Labels: , , ,