Cheat-Seeking Missles

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

How To Interrogate Latest Al Qaeda Catch

Unnamed and presumably unbowed, our latest al Qaeda honcho captured in Iraq has lots of info we'd like to have. After all, he was responsible for hundreds of civilian deaths and housed foreign suicide bombers.

(Before I get to what I'd like to see them do with this guy, let me just point out that the AP story I used as a source for this post said he housed "foreign fighters who carried out suicide bombings." Since when are these guys fighters? They are terrorists, AP, terrorists! They don't have the honor to fight, and you don't have the balls to call them what they are.)

So our new catch is sitting in a cell somewhere, and officials are trying, within the strict confines of acceptable interrogation techniques, to get info out of him.

Here's an idea. Put him in a cage and put him on the street in a neighborhood where one of his "fighters" killed a bunch of innocent people. Let these folks spit on him, yell at him, bang their fists against his cage and throw raw sewage on him for a few hours.

Then bring him back to his cell. Don't let him clean of the filth. Just make him sit there. Then take him to another neighborhood where his "fighters" blew themselves up in a car, and let him provide a bit a closure for the pained relatives of those he killed.

Each time they re-cage this disgusting sub-human, as they're lifting the cage onto the truck to take him to the next neighborhood, ask him if he'd rather talk instead.

It shouldn't take too long to get everything he knows out of him. And let the bleeding hearts call this torture!

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