Cheat-Seeking Missles

Monday, October 09, 2006

NoKo Lies, SoKo Leads

Here in its bizarre entirety, is the statement of the Democratic [?] Peoples [?] Republic [?] of Korea on its successful [?] nuclear test over the weekend:
"The field of scientific research in the DPRK successfully conducted [Only Russia says it has confirmed a nuke explosion in NoKo; no other nations have.] an underground nuclear test under secure conditions [Are there any other kind of conditions in NoKo?] on October 9, at a stirring time when all the people of the country are making a great leap forward [In NoKo's mentor state of China, that phrase meant starvation and repression] in the building of a great[?], prosperous[?], powerful [?] socialist nation.

"It has been confirmed that there was no such danger as radioactive emission in the course of the nuclear test as it was carried out under scientific consideration and careful calculation. [Do you believe this? The stumbling, bumbling reporter on the 11 p.m. news -- whose hair looked as if it had been sprayed with some radioactive compound -- sure reported it as a straightforward truth. I'm just glad I don't live near the site.]

"The nuclear test was conducted with indigenous wisdom and technology 100 percent [A boldfaced lie. NoKo had to import much non-indigenous technology to carry off its little trick]. It marks a historic event as it greatly encouraged and pleased the [Korean Peoples [?] Army] and people that have wished to have powerful self- reliant defense capability. [Yep, but there are a couple other wishes that come first: Food, clean water, hope, freedom.]

"It will contribute to defending the peace and stability on the Korean Peninsula and in the area around it." [Uh-huh. Let's see how quickly Japan re-writes its constitution to allow it to go nuclear.]
Meanwhile, the UN Security Council has chosen an interesting time indeed to pick a South Korean as Secretary General. Its selection of Ban Ki-Moon, SoKo's finance minister, to replace Kofi still needs to pass the General Assembly where things will very likely be less than unanimous. Still, Ki-Moon sailed through the Security Council on five straight majority straw votes and real votes -- unusual for this hornet's nest of political gamesmanship.

There was some speculation over the weekend that Pyongyang timed the test to signal to the UN that it was displeased with its move towards Ki-Moon. If that was the case, the rest of the world, as usual, wasn't listening to Kim Il Jung.

Well there was one. A conflict resolution guy who works on Korean issues. Asked whether NoKo really set off a nuke or not, he told AP, "I think we have to take them at their word. They're not the type of regime to bluff." Really? Don't let this guy anywhere near the table where they're working to resolve this conflict.

hat-tip: Breitbart
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