Cheat-Seeking Missles

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

LAX , Islam Invites And Oil

I woke up at 4:45 this morning dreaming of LAX, the big international airport in LA. Then I woke up again at 5:45, still dreaming of LAX. The dream:

LAX has two parallel runways, north and south. They run with startling efficiency 24 hours a day -- a plane lands, a plane takes off, a plane lands, in a ballet of land, air, metal and kerosene fuel.

But in my dream, the north runway was owned by the Shi'ites and the south by the Sunnis. Or was it the other way around? I do get confused, even in my dreams, so I played my little sort it out puzzle.

Hi, we're the Sunnis! We bring you sweet Saudi oil, Saddam, al Qaeda and 9/11 !

Hi, we're the Shi'ites! We bring you Iranian oil, Hezbollah ... and soon enough, nukes!

Once this was set in my mind, it was evident why, if the Sunnis got the north runway, the Shi'ites would definitely want the south. Neither wanted the other to prevail. And both wanted a nice base from which to kill us.

... But it was only a dream!

I know where it came from -- Bookworm. She had a post yesterday, Best coverage of Al Qaeda's "convert or die!" invitation, which directed me first here, then here, to Wuzzadem's double take on the invitation. The latter includes two invites, one from the Sunnis:

Ayman al-Zawahiri,
Adam Gadahn (aka, "Azzam the American")
& Members of al-Qaeda
cordially invite
all Westerners to convert to Islam,
or have your heads separated from your bodies.

The choice is yours.
Submit to our oppressive brutality willfully
or have it rain upon you
like a thousand heat-seeking, razor-sharp knives
that have your name engraved
on both sides of each blade.

Oh, and by the way, you must convert to Sunni Islam,
not Shi'a Islam, as such heresy will
be dealt with just as severely.

And one from the Shi'ites:

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Sheikh Hassan Nasrallah
& Members of Hezbollah
cordially invite
all Westerners to convert to Islam
or we will nuke you to kingdom come.

The choice is yours.
Submit to our oppressive brutality willfully
or we will develop enough
nuclear weapons to exterminate you,
once and for all.

Oh, and by the way, you must convert
to Shi'a Islam, not Sunni Islam,
as such heresy will
be dealt with just as severely.

Which brings me to oil. Most comes from Saudi Arabia and its near-neighbors (like Iran, until sanctions come), as we all know. But what if we wanted an alternative? Here are a couple, for your consideration:

You could stop at your local Lukoil station -- there are 24 of them in New York and the northeast, a toe-hold that should soon become 2,000 stations.

Your purchase of Lukoil gasoline won't help those nasty Arabs. Nope, every petrodollar you spend there will go to help Boris Putin build authoritarian control over Russia and spread a multipolarist foreign policy.

Oh, if you don't like that idea, be careful, because a lot of Getty and Mobil stations in 13 easterly states are owned by Lukoil; they just haven't been re-signed yet.

So that's no good. Maybe you should pull into your Citgo station instead. After all, they sponsor a NASCAR car; they must be all-American.

Nope. Your Citgo petrodollars go to one Hugo Chavez, to fund his round-the-world dictator tours and oppression of the home folk in the name of creating another power to counter ours in the world. Citgo is 100% Venezuela-owned.

It's almost enough to make me forego my German V-8 and get a Prius, acid-lead batteries and all.

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