Cheat-Seeking Missles

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Get The Gods Out Of Our Weekdays!

If you caught the last few minutes of Dennis Prager's show today, you learned that the days of the week mostly come from Norse gods -- you know, Thursday is "Thor's day," and the like. That's him (not Prager, Thor) over there on the left; he's always been my personal favorite.

American government at the federal, state and local level is using these religious names for days and no one's doing anything about it! Where's the ACLU, for cryin' out loud?

I'll spare them the effort. Here are the new, separation- of- church- and- state days of the week:

Monday becomes Oneday. We're starting on Monday because starting on Sunday would have religious overtones.

Tuesday becomes Twoday, which is pretty darn handy.

Wednesday becomes Middleday. We can't call it "Threeday" because of the obvious resurrection implications.

Thursday, Fourday; Friday, Fiveday; Saturday, Sixday (or Sexday to Viagra marketers) and Sunday, Sevenday.

Breathe a sigh of relief. We are now protected from any inadvertent contact with religion.