Gallaway, Soros et al Recast Bond

We pick up the story when Bond, a bit confused by his new mission, visits Q, where he finds the weapon-master testing a small bomb-carrying toy airplane. He's shocked to find that he won't get one of the planes -- they're for the Palestinians because the UN wants to level the playing field a bit.

BOND
So we're providing remote-controlled bombs to kill Israeli leaders?

Q
Of course not. The bomb's far too small. It's intended for use against children.
(taking out a grenade)
Now, this little device....

BOND
Did you say "children"?

Q
Yes. What of it?

BOND
Children. You're designing weapons to kill children.

Q
Jewish children, Bond. Not, you know, proper children. Now, as I was saying, this little grenade packs an interesting munition. We call it Empathy Gas. When you pull the pin, it expells a cloud of psychotropic gas which elevates the empathy levels in the target. Making them sympathic to their opponents, nearly to the point of subservience.

BOND
Well that will come in handy. What's the range?

Q
Zero.

BOND
Zero?

Q
Well for God's sake, Bond, you can't use this on opponents! That would violate the Geneva Protocols Against The Use of Insidious Gasses. You're supposed to pull the pin and inhale the gas yourself.

BOND
What the hell would that accomplish?

Q
(sarcastically)
Oh, nothing much at all, Bond. Just the little business of really understanding the historical grievances of your enemies.

This brilliance is from Ace of Spades with a grateful hattip to Bookworm.