The Prize For Global Warming Awareness? More Global Warming!
The motive: Increase awareness and research into methods for optimizing Internet searches while increasing awareness about that nasty, nasty global warming thing.
A CS-M commenter turned me on to this contest, and his bizarre answer to it. He intends to win the contest with a site that debunks global warming hysteria. He's just getting started, but do visit him at Forget Global Warming Awareness 2007. Google him, Yahoo him and MSN him and link to him. And Kudos for major creativity.
The silliness of all this -- and it is just as silly as the whole human causality myth that drives global warming's engine -- is the prize package SEO offers for the three lucky winners with the most Global Warming Awareness hits by May 1. Are you ready?
First prize! An internal combustion engine!
Yes, the happy first prize winner will drive away in a sharp new Citroen C2, complete with either a gas-burning 1.6 liter/16V hybrid or a plain old deisel-burning fossil fuel-burning power plant. And being a European car, it probably wouldn't meet US air quality standards.
Yes, Virginia, the bad old Kyoto-snubbing US has higher air quality standards than enlightened Europe.
Second Prize! A really, really big internal combustion engine!
The happy winner will ply the Carribean on an Ocean Cruise in a cruise ship fitted with engines as big as a house! I've heard that a big cruise ship goes about six inches on a gallon of dinosaur juice. As a result, these "cities on water" spew hydrocarbons by the boat load into the atmosphere.
The US won't even begin to regulate cruise ship exhaust emissions until this April, and even then, foreign-flagged vessels entering US ports are exempt from our deisel exhaust regulations. But still, the US is ahead of most countries, so call the Kyoto Boys and complain.
Third Prize! An electron-burning Plasma TV!
What's so bad about plasma TVs? How about this:
Why didn't SEO give away carbon neutral prizes for its big contest? You know, something like a bunch of crabgrass or a nice little goat? No wait; goats emit methane.
Britain's decision to switch from analog to digital TV signals by 2012 is being cited as the main reason for a steep rise in household electricity usage.
In a report published Monday, the Energy Saving Trust said electricity use is expected to double by 2010, the year Britain is committed to cutting its greenhouse emissions by 12.5 percent, the Telegraph reports.
Energy officials say six to 10 percent of annual electricity demand is due to things left on standby like digital television receivers that consume widely varying amounts of electricity.
Next on the list of high energy users are mobile phone chargers, video/DVD recorders and plasma TV screens.
So there you have it. All the hypocrisy of global warming hysteria in one neat package. If I had set out to show just how foolish this all is, I don't think I could have done any better than SEO.
Hat-tip: FGWA 2007
Related Tags: Global Warming, Global Warming Awareness 2007, SEO