Cheat-Seeking Missles

Friday, October 22, 2004

Stupid Enough for Intellectuals to Believe

Ah, let's celebrate elitism! Let's bemoan America's pinheaded oafishness! And let's do it in the LA Times. Writing today, Chilean op/ed writer Ariel Dorfman opined,

Is John Kerry too intelligent to be president of the United States?

It was what I felt instinctively the first and only time I met him, at a lunch at the World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland, in 1998. He was subtle, full of cultural and historical references, elaborating each fine argument at length, with perception and nuance. I commented to one of his aides afterward that I regrettably thought his brains could turn out to be the biggest impediment to a man like him ever occupying the White House.

Dolrfman then goes on to recount how as a 10-year-old, he alone straw-voted for Adlai Stephenson, "one of the most lucid and cultured men in America," while his 27 classmates voted for Ike, who (brace yourself, this is really unbelievably shameful), "preferred playing golf to reading a book." Surprise! Dorfman doesn't think much of Bush: "... it seems inconceivable to me that someone as incompetent, incoherent and obtuse as Bush could possibly command almost half the votes of his fellow countrymen." (This after bemoaning that Bush is ahead in the polls; I think that should be "more than half," not "almost half," Ariel.)

After an incredibly self-indulgent expose on the history of American electoral anti-intellectualism, delivered with a hint of elitism not dissimilar from the hint of Brut I used to sport in seventh grade, Dorfman concludes:

One can only hope that his fellow Americans, so many years later, will not be afraid of choosing as their leader a man who believes that the best way to defeat the multiple terrors of today and tomorrow is with an intelligence of which no human should ever be ashamed.

Now I might not be too bright, Ol' Buddy, but I think the best way to defeat them multiple terrors is with a big, nasty army. And I think George Bush is more than intelligent enough to figger that out. But if you feel that way, you be sure to go ahead and face down that Mullah feller with your smarts.

As Dennis Prager would say of Dorfman's hypothesis, it's so stupid, only an intellectual could believe it.