Cheat-Seeking Missles

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Our Crumbling Civilization: Amped For Sex Edition

Let's say you've got an energy drink to hawk. You know the deal: Young demographic, need to be edgy, viral.

You could make an ad about having energy to party, or energy to work out, or energy to work. No, scratch that last one. You could have beautiful girls surrounding the guy with the energy drink. It could be fun. Fun .... There's a concept. You could make it all about sex! Not just sex, but stranger sex!

Welcome to AMP (that's three capital letters, required) Energy Drink.

For those who don't want to click through or are blessed with short-term memory disorder:
Man 1, waking up in woman's apartment: "When you wake up in the morning in an unfamiliar place..."

Man 2, sitting on woman's bed: "And you can't remember where or when, let alone her face ..."

Woman 1, looking under man's bed in her underwear: "When you cannot find your shoe and your hair smells like a bar ..."

Man 3, sitting on woman's bed: "But you kinda feel excited because you got really far ..."

Man 4, on street: "Last night I was sure I was with a 10 ..."

Man 5, buying energy drink: "But this morning when I saw those knakles I had to think again ..."
You get the idea.

(Kankles, courtesy of Incredible Daughter #2, who introduced me to this video, are calf's or cow's ankles.)

"They ought to put a Trojan commercial on after it," said ID #2. But it appears her peers like the idea of hawking products with trampy, tawdry sin. And they don't just view this spot on YouTube -- they watch it on TV. And they like it; here are some of the comments from YouTube:
Oooooh, good one´╗┐ doooood!

this is the best, funniest, and awesomest commercial ever!!! its soo funny and it rox!!

That is hilarious and its so true i usally am so wasted and dont no ne thing and just go its really funny tho theres usally other peeps 2
In case you're not text-friendly, the middle of that last one is "and don't know anything."

To capture just how civilization-crumbling this culture of cheap sex, loose morals and freewheeling materialism is, I offer up this comment from a concerned YouTube viewer:
why do people have to ruin a good commercial with cases of std comments stfu
Yeah, why let chlamydia or gonorrhea get in the way of fun? Feeling good for the moment, that's the ticket.

And the hucksters at ad mega-agency BBDO know it well, assailing morality in the name of bringing yet another unneeded brand of energy drinks to market. Eight different versions of the clip are up on YouTube, with combined hits in the 330,000 range.

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