That Confusing Morality Thing

This series of posts generally deals with Dems' inability to understand the morality vote, but today's wanders into media land.

AdAge columnist The Media Guy has written what I'm sure he and his cloistered, Madison Ave. blue readers think is a very witty piece. I see it as more evidence that this crowd would rather be ignorant of conservative religion than ever spend a moment trying to understand it.

The set-up is a memo to staffers at the FCC prepping them for Peggy Nance's arrival. Nance is a well known anti-pornography crusader who worked for years for Concerned Women of America -- easy fodder for the leftist, religiously ignorant set.

Here are some of The Media Guy's attempts at humor at the expense of those who voted the morality vote last November:

SCIENCE PROGRAMMING
Regarding “science” programming, we’d like to find ways to encourage more balanced representations of the diversity of opinions surrounding today’s scientific discourse. Though we may not be able to directly counter such programming as the Discovery Channel’s numerous dinosaur “documentaries,” which advance evolutionary propaganda, we would like to look into working with more open-minded programmers to present, for instance, Intelligent Design Week.

Were Media Guy to exhibit a modicum of curiousity about the people he apparently so despises, he'd find that dinosaurs and creationism are not mutually exclusive with most believers. And would one week of Intelligent Design really be a fair balancing of decades of anti-Creationism evolution programs?

LANGUAGE
While we’ve largely eliminated the chance of “accidental” use of foul language through massive fines that have encouraged broadcasters to initiate 5-second delay technology, plenty of inappropriate language still makes it on TV and radio every day, on purpose -- including the D-word, even though alternatives such as “Gee Golly Gosh Darn” would work just as well. Our long-range goal is a five-week delay that would allow us to collaborate more fully with producers to ensure more family-friendly language.

The left is quick to point out words that offend them and shame those who use them. Pity the poor fool who uses "black woman" instead of "proud, repressed but strong woman of color, specifically darker than our La Raza brothers and sisters, and lighter than the brave Pakistani freedom fighters." What a shame that they can't understand that there are some words that offend conservatives -- like ones that degrade the language of our kids, or belittle our God.

SPORTS
We’re concerned about recent attempts to popularize soccer in the U.S. Soccer is, by definition, un-American, and is problematic because of the excessively short shorts its players wear, which aid and abet full skin-on-skin contact between players. (Male European soccer players have been known to actually hug and kiss in front of audiences that include young children.) If soccer continues its inroads into U.S. sports programming, we’d like to explore bringing soccer uniforms up to the decency standards of more fully clothed American sports such as baseball and football.

A lot of us strong, conservative Christian guys have patted a teammates butt, sweated on the mat with a man for three two-minute catch-as-catch-can wrestling matches, or even worn a Speedo. We're not afraid of bodies. And I guess the writer hasn't been to a California mega-church on a Summer Sunday. We hardly run around in floor-length dresses with tiny flower prints and long pants with shirts buttoned to the neck.

CONCLUSION
Consider the above thoughts to be just a start. By next Friday, I’d like each of you to submit half a dozen additional proposals for Penny’s review. Oh, a few other quick things: MTV- Canceled effective immediately. And Paris Hilton and Calvin Klein, as per our new aim of applying biblical principles to public policy (the stated aim of CWA, incidentally), will be stoned to death on a new “reality TV” series. (Thanks again to Dave and Becky for spearheading the negotiations with the upcoming Fox Reality Channel.)

They seem to have gotten their religions confused. The Koran is the book that says to stone the likes of Paris and Calvin. In the New Testament, Steven and Paul, the giant heros of the early church, were stoned for their faith; they definitely were not stoners, and neither are we.

h/t media bistro