America: Divided by Jerks

P.J. O'Rouke is the funniest writer honing words today, and his sharp knife cuts close to the bone.

His "An Alternative Inaugural Address" in the 1/24 Weekly Standard posits a simple and oh-so-justifiable position:

MY FELLOW AMERICANS, I had intended to reach out to all of you and bring a divided nation together. But I changed my mind. America isn't divided by political ethos or ethnic origin. America isn't divided by region or religion. America is divided by jerks. Who wants to bring a bunch of jerks together with the rest of us? Let them stew in Berkeley, Boston, and Ann Arbor.

But this isn't a column about politics; no, it's about something much more important:

We are all sinners. But jerks revel in their sins. You can tell by their reaction to the Ten Commandments. Post those Ten Commandments in a courthouse or a statehouse, in a public school or a public park, and the jerks go crazy. Why is that? Christians believe in the Ten Commandments. So do Muslims. Jews, too, obviously. Show the Ten Commandments to Hindus, Buddhists, Confucians, or to people with just good will and common sense and nobody says, "Whoa! That's all wrong!"

But jerks take issue with every one of the Ten Commandments.

And that's just the beginning. I've been reading this guy for so long ... I sure wish some of his genius would start rubbing off.